Mustaches Equal Cashes

Each year around this time, as the holidays approach and the weather gets nippy, many intelligent men embark upon a period of self-discovery in which they cease to rid their faces of hair growth. Some refer to this period as “No-Shave November”; others extend it to “Decembeard.” Most people do it to piss off their loved ones when they return home for the holidays and to rebel against the Man who tells us that the only way to look mature is to be clean-shaven. A small Charlottesville group of men, however, in conjunction with a larger national organization, are letting themselves go for a bigger cause to raise money for kids in area public schools.
A Charlottesville chapter of Mustaches for Kids was founded this fall to “do good while having fun by growing mustaches to benefit children and education in our area.” Mustaches for Kids originated in Los Angeles in 1999 and has seen its chapters spread throughout the continent in a way “not unlike the measured, deliberate growth of a mustache.” These volunteer-run organizations essentially put together a mustache-growing marathon in which mustache growers solicit donations from family, friends, and their community to be given to a local charity in support of their mustache. As M4K puts it, it’s just like raising money for a marathon “without the exertion, cramping, or dehydration”! The collective national effort has raised more than half a million dollars for children’s charities over the past ten years.
This year, the “Growing Season” runs from November 15th through December 15th. If you’re a guy sporting some nasty hair growth above your lips and you’ve still got it going on, here’s some incentive to keep it going just a few weeks longer! Charlottesville’s chapter of M4K will be donating all proceeds through DonorsChoose.org, a registered charity “that provides funding for teacher-submitted projects to improve our area’s public schools one classroom at a time.”
You may have caught by now that this is not just a “let’s not shave for a while” type marathon. In fact, M4K lays down some specific ground rules. Growers are asked to shave all facial hair except the mustached region at least once a week (although, if you’re just finding out about this, I’m sure they could make exceptions, right?). At the end of the Growing Season, each chapter hosts a Mustache Competition, described by M4K as “a cross between a beauty pageant, dog show, and police line-up.” Growers are “put through a test of mind, body, and mustache” in which they don mustache-enhancing costumes (whatever that means) and are evaluated by a panel of judges to see who grew the sweetest ‘stache.
As November has reached its close, I would encourage any fine gentleman who has been ditching the razor and shaving cream this month to consider letting themselves go just a little longer in support of a good cause. Obviously, getting rid of the beard while keeping the mustache can have its downsides; luckily, M4K’s website has this final advice to give you: should you choose to grow a mustache, “you will be attractive, bold, macho, and just a wee bit dangerous, but you’ll also be kind-hearted and sensitive.” Oh, and you’ll be helping the kids. What more incentive do you need?

The Charlottesville chapter of Mustaches for Kids has not set a date for its Mustache Competition yet; however, a “Checkpoint” event will be held this Sunday, December 6th, at Escafe. For more information, check out their Facebook page or the national website.