Signatures

Hey Dec,

It’s only November and I can finally see my breath in the chilly, frosty air. Do you think SNOWPOCALYPSE will come upon us with frothy white love juice once more this season?

Love,
Hot and Heavy

Dear Heavy and Hot,

Well right now it’s warmer in Seattle than it is here in Charlottesville. But it sounds like the weather has got you all worked up and a little hot and bothered. If SNOWPOCALYPSE wants to come, oh, it will come. It will come hard and fast. It might even take you for a ride down some slippery slopes. You probably won’t know what happened, but the next morning you’ll probably still have the chills from the night before. Don’t worry bout the frostbite down south though, that’ll wear off.

Awaiting SNOWPOCALYPSE 2012,
The Dec

Dear Dec,

I see Invisible Hand has their LP release on Saturday at the Jefferson Theater, I’m planning on going. What should I do to effectively get my townie on Saturday night?

Your unfaithful servant,
Townes Van Zandt

Dear Richard Scarry’s Little Town,

Do not panic. Just repeat after us: “I WILL NOT LEAVE TOWN WHEN I GRADUATE.” Hey, you’re learning quick! You won’t be a real townie, but you’re off to a good start.

Now, for some townie behavior you can adopt:
Places you can go to hang out: The Corner Parking Lot.
Places you can go to eat: the Blue Moon Diner.
Places that you can frequently talk about: Charlottesville High School.
Places you can go to drink: the C&O and Miller’s. Remember, Dave was a townie too once.
Music to listen to: the lineup for this show. Maybe some Truman Sparks.

And remember, only talk about the OLD “T-haus” days (don’t even think about mentioning Satellite Ballroom), show off your Tokyo-Rose-attending cred with a Happy Flowers tat, and last but certainly not least, cover your walls with some Steve Keene paintings, ‘cuz they’re not gonna cover themselves.

Good luck,
the Dec

Dear Dec,

For my costume this Halloween, I went halfsies and did a Two-Face style outfit, as half Richie Tenenbaum. and half Herman Blume (from Rushmore). I just couldn’t make up my mind! The costume would have worked great, except I think I scared some dates away. Can you think of a better Two-Face style Wes Anderson character combo Halloween costume I could have gone as?

Sincerely,
Pagoda

Dear Mr. Littlejeans,

Yes, we can. The best Two-Face style Wes Anderson character combo Halloween costume is half Max Fischer and half Klaus Daimler. We did it last year.

Best luck next time,
The Dec

Dear Dec,

What’s with all the chicks wearing leggings as pants? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but why is it a fashion faux pas? I don’t think it’s wrong if a lady want to show off her curves. Don’t wear that loose fitting flannel, just go all out. I decree that all girls wear shiny nylon spandex all day and all night.
No shirts either BTW ;)

Affirmative,
R2Bro2

Affirmative R2Bro2,

Remember that one fat chick?

Yeah,
The Declaration