Features

There is a new Youtube craze that has nothing to do with double rainbows

or a really ugly British baby named Charlie. No, this craze is about shit people say. What type of people? Oh, white girls, black girls, sorostitutes, single girls, etc. It all started with one video, Shit Girls Say, and then BAM, countless parodies were uploaded and are now on everyone’s Facebook wall. You’ve got to admit though, some of these videos make a real point about our interactions, body language and daily conversations. In a sense, these videos are a social experiment, critiquing our society.Read more...

Facebook is a beautiful thing. Facebook stalking is an even more beautiful

thing. Tonight it allowed me to go back and revisit many of the boys who held my heart in their hands for hours and days at a time. My pre-college life was rife with romantic drama and intrigue, so I present to you the most detailed descriptions I can cram into 1200 words of the boys who taught me life’s most important lesson: love is a battlefield. Make sure you wear your best skort.

Jake NiedereggerRead more...

Founded: Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Established: 69 B.C.E.

Philanthropy: Blazin’ for Parkinsons

Minimum GPA: Kill people, Burn Shit, Fuck school

Color: Plaid

Symbol: 40 oz.

Mascot: Velociraptor

Motto: Hoo do you know here? Mike? Better get him on phone.

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Officers:

President: Caroline Rayner
Rush Chair: Joy MertenRead more...

Silence is scarce. In the last few years, there’ve been a slew of articles published entitled “The Praise of Silence.” Publications such as The Atlantic and The Huffington Post have all drawn similar conclusions. Each respective journalist wrote with the rhetoric of catastrophe. The Internet, they claim, has rendered tranquility and serenity obsolete. Good riddance, I say. Writer Ann Medlock, in one such article, quotes a character from the novel “The Lacuna,”Read more...

Parting is such sweet sorrow. Especially when you're saying goodbye to some of the coolest cats ever to prowl TJ's grounds. Listen up newbies, you just might learn something.

Corey BennettRead more...

I don’t remember what time of year it was. I do remember that it was windy; the surf and bay air whipped around the point to catch us in the face and make our eyes water. It was the day that my father finally gave our family sailboat away. The sale of the boat had been many months in the making and finally culminated in this day. A young doctor and his wife came down from Maryland to sail the boat out of our yacht club and back to their home.Read more...

4 AM:Read more...

Bullying is a serious problem across the country. It not only affects children of all age groups, but college students as well. Bullying is a form of harassment. It can be physical, such as pushing a kid into his locker, forcing someone’s face into the toilet, or even hazing in Greek life. Bullying can also involve verbal harassment, such as writing horrible e-mails, calling someone a “fucking freak” or a “dumb bitch,” or using Facebook groups as a means to victimize someone. Bullies often have a following, a group who tries to intimidate the target.Read more...

Red Tide

There’s a red tide outside our window, produced by unicellular protists; dinoflagellate reproduction causing red waves in the ocean. The couple in the lobby thinks it’s a sign from the Devil. We, multicellular beings, Homo sapiens, are writhing in the sheets of room 316 while the neighboring rooms snap photos from their balconies of “Satan’s sea.” We ignore them, but the dinoflagellates keep moving, a glowing mess of sex and life and cyclical love-making. They are writhing in the ocean, naked protists, making more of themselves.Read more...

Charlottesville really does have a multitude of things to offer to the curious and experimental mind, so rather than wasting your time telling you to put up with inane shit like chalking for your favorite CIO, we’ve compiled a list of actual things you should try before your tenure at this fine University is over. Be warned, this list is not for the faint of heart, but at the very least your college experience will not be boring if you can get to even half of these. Good luck.Read more...