Volume 37, Issue 21

by Eamon Drumm

by Alex Dimitri

by Sabrina Ghumman

by Kelsey Goodman

by Hannah Barefoot

by Ekaterina Beletskaya

by Ekaterina Beletskaya

Aries (March 21—April 19):
The more everyone thinks of you, the less everyone thinks of you.

Taurus (April 20—May 20):
Just because your sources are hallucinatory doesn’t mean you can get by without citing them.

Gemini (May 21—June 21):
God will sneeze, and you’ll have no idea what to say to the guy.

Cancer (June 22—July 22):
That homeless man on the Corner hasn’t tasted a bite of food all week. Tell him not to worry—it still tastes the same.

Leo (July 23—Aug. 22):Read more...