Poodah Corner

Zooey Deschanel likes Prada. Alert your Alt friends.

Superbowl Forty-Sex
Poodah lucked out with fantasy football this year and scored some sick tickets to Superbowl 46 featuring the Giants vs. The Patriots. Madonna is scheduled to perform at the halftime show, so fifty-two-year-old men everywhere will be yearning for a wardrobe malfunction to please the giant patriots in their pants.

Drop it like it’s HotRead more...

Alert: Zooey Deschanel has been seen with a rabbit shaped bag! Tell your Alt friends.

Words Cannot DescribeRead more...

Sham-wow!Read more...

No More Ginger Gizz!
According to national news sources, gingers are increasingly being turned away from the major sperm banks. One agency director says, “Our stocks are exploding with ginger jizz!” Shrewdly thinking that discrimination against gingers doesn’t stop at the sperm banks, Poodah uncovered other recent rights stripped from our red-haired brethren:

-The right to vote
-The right to party (and they can’t fight for it either)
-The right to participate in Locks of Love or St. Baldrick’s (duh)
-The right to breed with non-gingersRead more...

Booty Booty Booty Rockin’ for 72 Days
Poodah heard that Kris Humphries and Kardashian lasted a total of 72 days. Kris cited, “Her ass was just EVERYWHERE,” as their irreconcilable differences. While Poodah reflected on the sanctity of marriage, he began to think of things that lasted much longer than their marriage:
-A severe case of Mono
-YOUR MOM
-Charlie Sheen’s bender
-Her sex tape with Ray Jay
-The NFL lockout
-Everyone’s shitty summer job
-My cry-sesh while listening to the new Lou Reed/Metallica CD
-The Occupy Charlottesville movementRead more...

Sesame Skeet

Toddlers were confused and parents were shocked this past weekend when anonymous hackers infiltrated the Sesame Street YouTube channel and stocked it with pornographic content. Producers of adult entertainment, however, have seized an opportunity, lining the following films up for release this winter:
-Oscar the Gooch
-The Coochie Monster
-The Adventures of Super Groper
-The Cunt (Part II: Cunt Chocula)
-The Muff-alufagus
-Tickle Me Homo
-Bert & Ernie (joke unnecessary)

Il-letter-ateRead more...

Occupy Wall Street
The Occupy Wall Street movement has made national headlines for its grassroots organization and garnered sympathy across the country for the inappropriate police reactions to the protests. OWS released a list of demands that includes free college education, universal debt amnesty, and open-border migration throughout the United States. Poodah has made efforts to organize an “Occupy Charlottesville” movement in order to solve problems that afflict our city. Among the demands, we find:

-2-Ply toilet paper in university restroomsRead more...

Venn Diagrams = TRUTHRead more...

VMAs
Lady Gaga came as a man, Katy Perry came as Lady Gaga, and Jay-Z came inside Beyonce.

Tips for First Years
With all of the new first years on grounds, Poodah decided to talk to the coolest kids on Grounds and get them to compile a list of tips and tricks. Here’s what they came up with:

-Don’t smoke weed in the graveyard next to Old Dorms.
-If you find that the homeless people above ground are too cool, watch out for the homeless people in the steam tunnels.Read more...

iPhone Phuck Up
AT&T service dropped dramatically in Charlottesville during the last week, but you already know about that because all of your friends with IPhones have been complaining to you about the fact that they can’t play words with friends. Many reasons for the loss of service have been given from an overload because of so many people playing angry birds, to the administration cutting service on grounds so that students would actually pay attention in class, Poodah has discovered the actual disaster report from AT&T about the incident.Read more...