Volume 37, Issue 2

I wanted a deal, but not just any deal. I wanted a deal from wal-on black Friday. The proposal sounded simple; the plan seemed effortless, but when I made my march to the automatic-opening glass gates on that cold morning last Friday, I knew that I was in for an epic battle.Read more...

The Killers - Day & Age (Island: November 24, 2008)Read more...

Imagine a particular kind of friend from high school, the one who was a little crazy, who probably did a few too many drugs, but was still massively entertaining. Think of the adventures you had as being roughly equivalent to Appetite for Destruction, Guns N’ Roses’ 1987 debut –maybe it’s a bad influence, but it’s a hell of a lot of fun. Over time, though, this buddy starts to lose it, and gradually, his circle of friends starts to disintegrate. You move out of town, get a job, and you don’t think about this guy for a while. Then, suddenly, he turns up again after seventeen years.Read more...

My best friend once e-mailed me some insightful advice when I was in the middle of what I considered a difficult dilemma: “So take a deep breath (of what, use your imagination) and relax. There are about a hundredfuckingmillion worse situations to be in. There will be an answer. You know what comes next.”Read more...

Tra la la, tra la la, tra la la la laaaaaa! I love singing Christmas carols. I love singing Christmas carols so much that, the other night, I was bouncing around, air-headed, to “Good King Winceslas” and getting out of my car in the vacant Bank of America parking lot when my cousin grabbed my arm. “Are you sure you want to do this right now?Read more...

News is a funny thing. Even when it’s not funny at all. Even when stock markets plummet alongside political ambitions, the media tends to forget about news stories in a time shorter than a Michael Phelps butterfly race or a Rudy Giuliani presidential campaign. For some, 2008 totally Baracked (Phelps, Obama, Miley Cyrus, etc.); for others, the year didn’t play out exactly as they would’ve hoped (Hillary Clinton, Fannie & Freddie, Heath Ledger, etc.). Either way, chances are decent that you and the rest of the world have already moved on (or tried to), perhaps a bit too quickly, eh?Read more...

Some Say It’s Puppy Love
Poodah was revisiting Grape-Squish Lady on You­Tube, when Poodah stumbled upon the latest internet craze: cute Japanese puppies on a 24 hour live web­cam. Surprised that this was more than the kitchen of a Korean restaurant, Poodah gave the site a chance. However, quickly becoming bored with the sluggish, unresponsive dogs, Poodah decided to develop a fully interactive version. Before releasing the application to the general public, Poodah would like to pre-empt the learning curve by providing you, potential user, with the keystroke shortcuts:Read more...